I'm in my office here in the Chelsea section on the Island of Manhattan, NY. It struck me last night that the year is almost over. Its been a great year. Last January I told my co-worker Rene (from the mortgage company) that 2003 is gonna be MY YEAR. Well, I wouldnt go as far as to say its been MY YEAR but I have made a lot of strides in personal development over the year. I have been able to stand up for myself a bit more. Realize that if something isn't feeling right to me...gut-wise...than it probably isn't right for me and I need to change it. When a situation feels "right" inside, you know it. I also managed to lose 30 pounds in the past year. Okay...so most of the year I didnt have to sit at a desk, and that helped tremendously. Daily yoga and bike riding certainly helped. I need to be vigilant next year...and keep this up.

Next year I have a few easy resolutions. I am going to break them into managable chunks...90 day plans.
FIRST 90 DAYS of 2004:

Stay away from sugar and wheat flour. I think I am allergic to white flour and sugar is just bad for me. I always feel 100% better when I avoid both of these ingredients.

Stay away from bad carbs, beef and limit the chicken. I need to incorporate more fish into my life. I think 90 days of oriental style will be good for me.

Not eating big meals late at night. this is tricky because I dont get home from work until 7:30. So... I think I need to really plan to have correct foods available at all times.

Substitute stress reducers and rewards....I like to eat candy when I am stressed or really happy. I need to exercise when I am stressed or really happy...hehe.

Yoga at LEAST 3x a week and get back to strength training. I MUST do this for my mental as well as physical well-being.

All of the above changes will help the REST of my life...the pressures of children, work....and about work....
I need to make some changes either with the position I currently have, making it more "user friendly" in my life or find something closer to home.

Relationship wise...well, things are better than I ever expected with Bernie. I wish my relationship with Pherrin was better, but what can I do with a crazed 14 year old? I need to not be her friend and not feel bad about not being her friend. The hardest part of being a parent is this.
so, I guess I just need to keep doing the next right thing there, this too shall pass....in a few years!
The part that makes me sad is just that I feel like crap every time Bernie or Genevieve are subject to Pherrin's outbursts...its so vile and embarressing. He is so protective of what she is exposed to, Im sure the ugliness of pherrins outbursts are not what he wants his daughter to be subjected to. Sometimes I wonder if there can be any real future for us because of this. Its difficult. It could be worse, I guess...shes just mouthy...not into drugs or any other bad habits. Its family dynamics...as my brother Dan likes to say.... Oh well, it is what it is. I don't hide anything. No sense in that. It just makes me sad sometimes.