Fat Johnny Russo

Last Sunday, my Uncle Johnny Russo died. Uncle Johnny was married to my father’s only sister, Fanny. Aunt Fanny was the only daughter (out of 8 children) of Mary and Pellegrino Certa of Ribera Sicily.

Fanny (Frances – ironically the same name as my Mother, although she is not Sicilian and not even Italian! My father married outside his race to Frances Jane McNelis from Donegal, Ireland) Her given name is Onofria. Allegedly my Grandmother was placed under duress to name her daughter Onofria, a name she dispised. The rational remains unclear, however, I sure there was some sort of provincial law involved. However, my Grandmother protested stating she would only name her daughter Onofria if the child were brought forth into life on St. Onofria’s feast day. Wouldn’t you know she was!

Fanny was sent back to Sicily to be reared by her Grandmother in Ribera. Her mother thought this best being in a house with all males and she working long hours in the family grocery store (28th St. and Second Ave, NYC- my Uncle Vincent still lives there) In any event, when Fanny was old enough to return, she did. Not knowing a single word of English she was mercilessly taunted by her rotten brothers.

Fanny donned light amber hair and blue eyes, uncommon, although not extremely rare for Sicilians in her neighborhood, In fact, I tend to favor my father’s side of the family. Folks would automatically deduce my features from Erin, not so! My mother is a colleen.

Fat Johnny as he was known came to court the only daughter of Mary and Pellegrino Certa. My father, being the baby at that time was mostly kept under the watchful eye of his older sister (and also served as built-in chaperon) My Father relished the visits from Johnny. To keep him at bay Johnny plied the young Michelangelo (Angie) with quarter dollars “to get lost”, A king’s ransom in the 1940’s!

Fanny loved to cook and Johnny loved to eat. It was a match made in heaven!

I don’t know too many other personal details about Uncle Johnny . I know they lived in Rego Park Queens for most all of their married life. Journeys to Queens from our home in rural New Jersey always seemed like a major adventure. Fat Johnny would take all three of us to the World’s Fair park while he walked “daisy” his little dog of undetermined breed. We would marvel at the lonely structures and listen and watch intently for the airplanes flying over from JFK Airport. He smoked “guinea stinkers” short fat black DeNapoli cigars. I loved the smell of them. They came packaged in stylishly designed navy blue and bright yellow boxes.

Uncle Johnny was a master at Parlor tricks. He would find a quarter hidden in most any part of our bodies. He had a forefinger that separated from its second knuckle! He could make playing cards disappear like magic! He was an endless source of card tricks and slight of hand. In short, Fat Johnny Russo was mystical fun to all of us kids.
Uncle Johnny and Aunt Fanny were known for throwing pies at each other and other people. No one knew who would get a pie in the face, but someone always did at family bar-be-cues when they would converge on my Great Aunt Marianina’s egg farm during the summer or in the basement kitchen of their Queens brownstone.


We have an abundance of Johns, Peters and Josephs in our family. Fat Johnny wasn’t really meant as mean as it sounds. Everybody loved him – we just needed a way to identify him from the rest of the Certas named John.

I’m not sure what his occupation was. Something in “shipping” probably. A few of my older uncles were involved with the shipping industry; I’m not sure how or why…they just sort of had these jobs. I don’t recall Uncle Johnnie ever having hair. He was very short and fat. Bald with beady brown eyes, very Genovese. He had a fantastic sense of humor and a great silly laugh to go with it.

His mother lived well beyond 100 years. In fact, she may still be alive in her wheelchair. I don’t recall hearing that she had passed on. He loved to eat, drink and be merry. In fact, he insisted on no wake, just a fast funeral and a big party. Classic Johnny Russo!