Its all coming together.

Our wedding is taking shape. We have our minister, a woman who is very interesting, a Unitarian Universalist Minister. Im all into her philosophy. We were mulling over various symbolic participatory events to help our children feel a part of things. You see, I wanted to elope. Bernie thought and rightfully so that the children would want to be a part of the festivities. I've never been big on weddings. I think most are tacky, showy formula affairs based on more what "other people" will think rather than focusing on the marriage between two people, two lives joining. To me this seems deeply personal and sacred. I'm almost too selfish, not wanting to share this moment with anyone other than my beloved.

He is right though. The children WANT so much to be a part of the ceremony and they should be as we are not marrying only each other...we are marrying two separate families into one.

We are lucky, in a dark sort of way...that there are no ex-spouses for us. We have been truely alone for years raising our children and now we come together for ever after.

I'm glad that we are not bound by any sort of religious constraints. We are taking global traditions and creating our own unique ceremony. I love that we are both open-minded an respect many cultures. Nothing irks me more than narrow-minded-ness.

I've taken a week off from work to focus on the details of our wonderful wedding day.

"While women weep, as they do now, I`ll fight; while children go hungry, as they do now I`ll fight; while men go to prison, in and out, in and out, as they do now, I`ll fight; while there is a drunkard left, while there is a poor lost girl upon the streets, while there remains one dark soul without the light of God, I`ll fight - I`ll fight to the very end!"

William Booth founder of The Salvation Army

Sun-Day!

Things are getting better. The sun is out; its beautiful. Finished school shopping for the kids, now we go for the teacher (bernie). Luckily, Gigi wears a uniform so she only needs new shoes and socks! Yay for uniforms!

Summer is almost over. This is the first year I haven't spent much time out of doors or taken any sort of vacation. I miss the sunshine. I miss having free time.

Swamp Thing

The second half of August always depresses me. I live in a large stone house that has no air conditioning, which I have no problem with, normally. Except for these few weeks before the weather breaks. After a few weeks of humidity, it gets awfully swampy in here. The floors are made of stone tile also (and some parquet wood) so its damp and slippery. We could get a few dehumidifiers but luckily it hasn't come to mold or mildew. Cooking is practically impossible. Getting water on anything never dries.
Its close, clammy and sticky.

Also there is the excitement of Back to School at the end of August. The children are mostly excited, anticipating seeing their friends again (we live off the beaten track, no neighbors. If they want to visit friends they have to ride bikes or be driven and visa versa) There is the added pressure of a summer of fashion magazines and whats hott and whats not. Shopping, which I really don't enjoy. Luckily, Pherrin has changed her style to surf and skate, so she off the hip-hop scene. She actually bought knock off birkenstocks and is holding out for real UGGS.

I hope the weather breaks soon.

They Love Each Other

Lyrics: Robert Hunter
Music: Jerry Garcia

Merry run around
Sailing up and down
Looking for a shove in some direction
Got it from the top
It's nothing you can stop
Lord, you know they made a fine connection


They love each other
Lord, you can see it's true
Lord, you can see it's true
Lord, you can see it's true

He could pass his time
Around some other line
But you know he chose this place beside her
Don't get in the way
There's nothing you can say
Nothing that you need to add or do


It's nothing, they explain
It's like a diesel train
Better not be there when it rolls over
And when that train rolls in
You won't know where it's been
You gotta try to see a little further


Though you'll make a noise
They just can't hear your voice
They're on a dizzy ride and you're cold sober

I'm trying to tell you something bout my life
Maybe give me insight between black and white
And the best thing you've ever done for me
Is to help me take my life less seriously
It's only life after all

Now darkness has a hunger that's insatiable
And lightness has a call that's hard to hear
I wrap my fear around me like a blanket
I sailed my ship of safety till I sank it
I'm crawling on your shores

I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains,
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountains
There's more than one answer to these questions pointing me in a crooked line
And the less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine

I went to see the doctor of philosophy
With a poster of Rasputin, and a beard down to his knee
He never did marry, or see a b-grade movie
He graded my performance, he said he could see through me
I spent four years prostrate to the higher mind
I got my paper and I was free

I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains,
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountains
There's more than one answer to these questions pointing me in a crooked line
And the less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine

I stopped by the bar at 3 am
To seek solace in a bottle, or possibly a friend
And I woke up with a headache like my head against a board
Twice as cloudy as I'd been the night before
I went in seeking clarity

I went to the doctor, I went to the mountain, I looked to the children, I drank from the fountain
We go to the doctor, we go to the mountains, we look to the children, we drink from the fountains
We go to the bible, we go through the workout, we read up on revival, we stand up for the lookout
There's more than one answer to these questions pointing me in a crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine

~Indigo Girls

Weekends go by too fast!

Friday we settled on the site for marriage ceremony and the dinner afterwards. Its a beautifully restored mansion by the sea. The menu is exquisite. Now all we need to do is find a ship's capt, mayor or minister to officiate. I feel completely committed and already spiritually bonded to Bernie. I felt this way from the moment I walked into his house. It was an odd sensation. I walked up, I'll never forget...he was sitting on his sofa reading. I was nervous and watched him for a minute or two outside before I rang the bell. I felt overwhelmed. Like a cosmic convergence..like, THIS MAN is special. I rang the bell and walked inside. I immediately felt a rush, I can't explain it but I knew I would never leave him.

I've only told him this story recently. It is, of course a process of getting to know a person. I'm not an easy person to deal with. I have lots of stories. I have lots of family. I've lived a lot in my life so far...I tend to frighten mere mortals.

Bernie est un ange que je suis convaincu. comment pourrait environ incarner le tout ce qui est si bon et vrai. Je suis stupéfait par mes possibilités d'aimer quelqu'un tellement complètement, finalement. Je regarde dans son beau visage et vois pour toujours. Je pourrais regarder dans est des yeux pendant million d'années et rester sans fin facinated.

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we," Bush said.

"They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."


God Bless America.

Weird Stuff
This morning I fell asleep or entered a time warp. All I remember is 14th St. then coming to, in a panic, at Canal. How did I miss W4 and Spring? This happened on the A train this morning.

Note to self:
Do not attempt to wear socks within 12 hours of a pedicure.

caro siete il tesoro del mio cuore

All about Falafel V

Not much to say about the falafel and hummus at Ali Baba on MacDougal St. across from Mamouns. I dont even want to bother giving you any more details other than it was not good. Maumoun's is across the street and way more awesome.

Hey, check out this site map of NYC streets in words. Its very interesting.

Well. The weekend flew by. Friday was Kate's birthday and we had a major bash. Check my Fotolog for the details.

Saturday I decided to go shopping and finally buy myself some summer clothes. Bernie and I went to Scarbourgh Fair for dinner and we were not impressed. They are here by banned from the reception list. We did however find a gorgeous place in Ocean Grove and Im hot on its trail for details.

I've been having fun checking out my new camera's features. There are so many cool things. Like, it has a setting for "nightscenes". I took a few really gorgeous photos of the moon rise over the Atlantic last night.

Otherwise, Im going to try to get some good sleep.