About 8-10 years ago for about 4 years of my life.... I went through my "search for the meaning of life" phase.

Read all the self-help books, participated all sorts of new-age therapy, self-help groups, 12-step programs, got into herbs, macrobiology, vegetarianism, meditation, yoga,running, researching all the world religions for true "God", asking all the great philosophical questions that have baffled human beings since the dawn of time. Basically looking for something to fill the spiritual void in my life.

Do you know what I found out?
There is only one true gage: The Gut. learning to read your own intuition is the natural key to what is good "quality". We all know, intinctively, what is good or evil.
There is only one way to live Blind Faith. learning to trust and depend on a Higher Power brings inner strength. Don't intellectualize spirituality...it draws from the entire nature of the mystery. Either believe or don't, but don't argue about its exsistance. Believe in yourself, also, but not without humility and the absence of ego.
The is a natural law: Karma or: "What goes around, comes around" Every action has an equal reaction. Also known as the "Golden Rule"

The greatest power on Earth is Love
The greatest crippler on Earth is Fear

Everything is subjective. No experience is the same for everyone. Your idea of good and evil is different than mine. Your God is different than mine. However, three constants remain....LOVE and its nemisis: FEAR. With Love there is no Fear with Fear there is no Love. KARMA or the GOLDEN RULE pertains to everyone: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

This is where I feel comfortable. Much eleboration can be made on each of these tenents. But my search is over for this phase in my life. Day to day exsistance feeling comfortable in my skin is happiness to me. Knowing that I will not fall, nor fail...having great love in my life. Feeling that yes, I've made mistakes but its all part of the esssence of me. Thats it.
Live and let live.

There is too much going on.

"Nothing contributes so much to tranquilize the mind as a steady purpose -- a point which the soul may fix its intellectual eye."
~ Mary Shelley

Life is incredibly busy lately. It is usually...but lately...wow. Sometimes I stop and think, how do I do this? How do I wake up and handle all this stuff and go to bed, wake up and do it all over again? I don't know. I do because I must. Yesterday I was councelling one of my co-workers on the pros and cons of cat-ownership. Single guy, no cares in this world. I said, "do you own a houseplant and is it still living?" "If the answer is yes, then you are ready for a pet." Its the natural progression, plant, pet, spouse, child.

How do you spell R-E-L-I-E-F?

I spell it...B-E-R-N-I-E.
Thanks!

Well, I figure that most of my saddess is in fact, hormonal. On the way home from work I broke into tears over some sappy half-country-western new "alternative" song that I cannot even recall. Thats when it hit me.....what day of the month is it?

At least I can recognize it. I have little patience for woman who use "PMS" as an excuse to treat people poorly. Its not a reason to act like an asshole for a week. Trust me, I've been to hell and back with this stuff. Tried all the medications, Buspar, Zoloft, Xanax...none of them worked. Its just this thing. When I start obsessing over minut things that are none of my business then I know I am in trouble. When I lose my temper over my daughters wardrobe...opps! there it is! Crying over country songs is really random and scary..but it happens. I was simply scanning the car radio! The best advice at this time is to just say..NO COMMENT...and lay low...this too shall pass.

Feeling of Dread.

Today I woke up with a weird feeling. I woke up early....did a few loads of wash, half an hour of yoga, took my vitamins, made a power shake (bought some awesome soy fuel stuff over the weekend)...but couldn't shake this feeling.

I got to Little Silver early....they were having a mardi gras celebration at the Java Joint inside...which was funny. Then I went to buy my tickets...BAM. DECLINED. I have no money in my checking account! Figures, the check I wrote for Katie's class trip, the one that Bernie and I sort of disagreed on....cleared sooner then I expected. Now....I don't have enough money to get to work tomorrow. What a Catch 22. Luckily I had a ten dollar bill in my wallet and can scrounge up enough to get home. This sucks!

Life, though not often fair, is always interesting and exciting if you stray just a little bit from the yellow brick road. Dorothy knew it. At the very cusp of adulthood, she turned to Toto and said, "There`s no place like home." But you knew she was already crossing the line when she stated, " . . . but Scarecrow I will miss you most of all." Childhood, once lost, can be remembered but not found again.

(from a comment on my fotolog from BANDMAN...grandfather of the Trachenberg Family Slideshow Band's drummer, Rachel)

Cool as a cucumber candidate..or..err..
CARROT

Reminding those who need it that music is meant to transcend the squalor of everyday living.

Thirty Years Ago

This afternoon I listened to
MIXED_BAG on our local public radio station,
WBJB and Pete Fornatale was interviewing Peter Frampton. It made me feel very nostalgic. Frampton Comes Alive was one of the first albums I bought as a kid. It remains the largest selling live album ever to this day. I cannot believe he wrote this song....30 years ago:
BABY I LOVE YOUR WAY
Shadows grow so long before my eyes
And they're moving across the page
Suddenly the day turns into night
Far away from the city
But don't hesitate 'cuz your love won't wait
Ooh baby I love your way (everyday)
Wanna tell you I love your way
Wanna be with you night and day
Moon appears to shine and light the sky
With the help of some fireflies
I wonder how they have the power to shine, shine, shine
I can see them under the pine
But don't hesitate'cuz your love won't wait
Ooh baby I love your way (everyday)
Wanna tell you I love your way
Wanna be with you night and day
But don't hesitate'cuz your love won't wait
I can see the sunset in your eyes
Brown and grey and blue besides
Clouds are stalking islands in the sun
I wish I could buy one out of season
But don't hesitate'cuz your love won't wait
Ooh baby I love your way (everyday)
Wanna tell you I love your way
Wanna be with you night and day
Ooh baby I love your way (everyday)
Wanna tell you I love your way
Wanna be with you night and day

Its still such a beautiful song. I know its been over played and redone a million times...but the original still makes me wax nostalgic for 8th grade. I remember when I bought the album...I rushed over to my cousin Jeannies house...I had to babysit for her that afternoon and begged her to let me play it on her stereo. She agreed and hated it. I loved it and still have a big crush on Peter Frampton. Even though he grossed me out in the 80's with his satin outfits...well, that wasnt his fault. BESIDES...THE DARKNESS is making a big splash copying is 80's look. hehe.

I didnt know that he was the "authenticity advisor" on the movie "Almost Famous" and that he wrote 3 songs for the soundtrack. He looks so different now...he allowed himself to age, which I admire. Anyway...his latest CD
NOW sounded really fine. I will buy it.

Iran's Blogging Boom Defies Media Control

Thu Feb 19, 8:21 AM ET

By BRIAN MURPHY, Associated Press Writer

TEHRAN, Iran - Take one exasperated Iranian woman. Add a computer. Hook it up to the Internet.

"And you have a voice in a country where it's very hard to be heard," said Lady Sun, the online identity of one of the first Iranian women to start a blog — a freeform mix of news items, commentaries and whatever else comes to mind.

Initially created to defy the nation's tight control on media, these Web journals have turned into a cyber-sanctuary — part salon, part therapist's couch — for the vast pool of educated, young and computer-savvy Iranians.

As Friday's parliamentary elections approach, however, there's a distinct tone of worry that conservatives expected to regain control of parliament would step up pressure to censor the Internet.

"It will be the end of the blog era in Iran," said a Tehran-based blogger who operates pinkfloydish.com, the name indicative of her love of Western music.

But thus far, the Internet has managed to avoid the hard-liners' choke hold on media, which has silenced dozens of pro-reform newspapers and publications since the late 1990s.

Thousands of Iranian blogs have cropped up since late 2001 when an Iranian emigre in Canada devised an easy way to use the free blogging service Blogger.com in Farsi. Though several English blogs outside Iran are read by Iranians, the most popular ones are in Farsi and operated inside the country.

Blogs offer a panorama of what's whispered in public and parleyed in private. People vent, flirt and tell jokes. They skewer the ruling clerics with satire and doctored photos — such as Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei donning a Western business suit instead of his usual turban and robes.

The anonymity of e-mail addresses and use of pseudonyms strip away any timidity.

"We always wear masks in our society." said Lady Sun, who started her blog in November 2001 and later married one of its readers. "This is a place to take them off."

The masks, however, stay on offline, and like many other bloggers interviewed, Lady Sun spoke on condition of anonymity.

Bloggers can get quite feisty, as one commented in Farsi on the ruling clerics: "It's very pleasant to have to talk with 18th century people in 2004."

Even the Iranian vice president, Mohammad Ali Abtahi, has a blog, though hardly anti-establishment — it's mostly to gauge the sentiments of Iranians.

"Ordinary people read his thoughts and give him feedback — directly through e-mail," said Hossein Derakhshan, the Toronto-based blogger who devised the seminal guidelines for Farsi characters. "This is very rare for an Iranian politician."

Iranians are not alone in embracing blogs. A blogger in Iraq (news - web sites) gained a worldwide following last year with his reports on life on the eve of war. In the United States, information and political junkies exchange items not easily found in mainstream media.

"You're basically avoiding the filter whether it's a nefarious government or an ignorant editor," said Sree Sreenivasan, a professor of new media at Columbia University in New York.

Bloggers in Iran have sidestepped censorship efforts, in part, by running sites through multiple servers and using foreign-based blogs as portals to Iranian ones whose locations may keep changing.



But more importantly, officials have not countered with their ultimate weapon: bringing all servers under government control.

Plans to outlaw privately run Internet service providers were announced last year but were never followed through. Some suspect officials feared too much public outrage. But a new parliament could change the dynamics.

"We have suffered under unjust press laws," said Issa Sahakhiz, member of the Iranian branch of the Committee to Protect Journalists. "We are afraid (of) more to come with this new parliament."

In a country full of paradox, the Internet has been one of the biggest.

Authorities allowed it to expand in the 1990s without any serious controls — even as they hunted for illegal satellite television dishes and Western movie videos. The huge online appetite has been fed by thousands of Internet cafes, low-cost computers from East Asia and a rush of entrepreneurs offering Internet accounts.

Other tightly run nations — such as Saudi Arabia and China — keep reins on the Internet. In Iran, almost anything is a click away. Beside blogging, Iranians spend time in chat rooms, download music, read poetry, visit any of the countless Farsi news sites or even surf the erotic offerings.

At its present course, Internet usage in Iran is expected to grow sevenfold to 15 million users by 2006, according to studies cited by the Middle East Economic Digest. More than half of Iran's 65 million are under 25 years old and hungry for the Web.

Pedram Moallemian, an Iranian who runs the English-language eyeranian.net from San Diego, reaches many of those Iranians with observations on everything from the Iranian elections to U.S. news programs.

"The blog in Iran is truly an amazing phenomenon," Moallemian said. "It shows that Iranians are saying, `Look, we're part of the world as well.'"

___

On the Net:

Lady Sun blog: http://www.ladysun.net

Pedram Moallemian blog: http://www.eyeranian.net

Hossein Derakhshan blog: http://www.hoder.com/weblog/

McMansions

I never heard of the term "McMansion" before I met bernie. He told me he previously lived in a McMansion. On a NJ persons fotolog she mentioned McMansions. And the following ensued. (I hate what the McMansion has done to our farmlands in NJ and I am very glad he sold his.) They definately have the odis of being classless and ordinary and definately a large part of how our landscape has been ruined by the nouve riche. What is the obsession with Largeness? STUFF...more of it...and less inside...no substance, no spirit no love no art no beauty no music...

McMansion. The OED deems it a U.S. colloquial term that refers to "a modern house built on a large and imposing scale, but regarded as ostentatious and lacking architectural integrity." Its first usage example comes from the San Diego Union-Tribune on 15 July 1990. More examples can be found here. The always-useful Word Spy, however, argues the word has undergone a shift: where it once referred to cookie-cutter homes, regradless of size, it now refers to the large and imposing houses described by the OED. Word Spy also cites a 17 July 1990 example from the LA Times, a long citation that should be read in its entirety; the OED`s citation defines McMansions only as "move-up homes." Both examples, however, seem to us equally ambiguous about size.]
(from a fotologger in Michigan)
unfortunately, mcmansions are all over the damn place! i grew up in a rural area in michigan, and when i go back to visit, huge parcels of farm land have been turned into subdivisions full of these horrioble structures. who would want to spend that kind of money and live a few feet from their neighbor?! some areas have now begun to pass minimum lot size restrictions... 2 acres where i lived. sorry, but you got me started.........

Letter from Gov. Howard Dean:

Dear Supporter,

I am very proud of all of you and very grateful to all of you for your
extraordinary hard work.

I announced today that I am no longer actively pursuing the presidency.

I am so thankful for all of you who traveled around the country, showed
up at our office, worked around the clock, because you believed in what
we were doing - to you, thousands of Americans who have given
generously
of your time, in your states, because you believed in our cause.

I want to thank the 300,000 small donors that decided that they wanted
their country back.

I want to thank all the people in every state who heard our message and
supported us.

We have led this party back to considering what its heart and soul is.
Although there is a lot of work left to do, I am very proud of all of
you and very grateful to all of you for your extraordinary hard work.

As the fight moves forward, I have some things that I specifically want
to ask of you.

First, keep active in the primary. We are still on the ballots. Sending
delegates to the convention only continues to energize our party. Fight
on in the caucuses. Use your network to send progressive delegates to
the convention in Boston. We are not going away. We are staying
together, unified -- all of us.

Secondly, we will convert Dean for America into a new grassroots
organization, and I hope you stay involved. We are determined to keep
this entire organization vibrant. There are a lot of ways to make
change. We are leaving one track, but we are going on another track
that
will take back America for ordinary people again.

Third, there have been a lot of people who have decided to run for
office locally as a result of this campaign. I encourage you to run for
office and support candidates like you who run for office. We will use
this enormous organization to support you as you run -- we will change
the face of democracy so that it represents ordinary Americans once
again.

We must beat George W. Bush in November. I will support the nominee of
our party and do everything I can to beat George W. Bush and I urge you
to do the same. But we will not be above letting our nominee know that
we expect them to adhere to the standards that this organization has
set
for decency, honesty, integrity and standing up for ordinary American
working people.

One of the things that I realized a long time ago is that change is
very
difficult. There is enormous institutional resistance to change in this
country. You cannot expect people with great privileges taken at the
expense of ordinary working people to surrender them lightly.

Change is hard work. Change does not happen simply because you go to a
rally and simply because you make phone calls -- and I know how hard
everybody has worked. But change is a process that you can never give
up
on.

Change is the state of America and change is the state of humankind.
The
history of humanity is that determined people overcome obstacles. It is
natural for people to resist, but it is also inevitable that we will
win.

So we will continue to fight. This is the end of phase one of this
fight, but the fight will go on, and we will be in it together. We will
continue to bring our message of hope and change to the American
people.

Thank you very much for everything that you have done.

Governor Howard Dean, M.D.

Getting a Bad Vibe

Something isn't right. Dependancy comes in all forms. The most damaging can be a parents over-dependancy upon a child.

Happy Quirkyalone Day!

Okay..here it is, for the rest of my friends who are:

Quirkyalone: n. a person who enjoys being single (or spending time alone) and prefers to wait for the right relationship to come along rather than dating indiscriminately. This February 14, while everyone else is celebrating (or moaning about) Valentine's Day, gather your friends to celebrate
INTERNATIONAL_QUIRKYALONE_DAY

yes, so I am a bit late, cutting edge has never been my style...there is always next year!

The Mount Everest of Love

We had an over-the-top romantic valentines day...me and bernie. Details are private. The best part was that we both thought staying home and cooking thai food was what we might really like to be doing...however going out on a super-fine date (which we rarely do, and was totally planned and executed by him....) was really something we SHOULD do.

I really enjoy his company. Listening to him, watching him. He is beautiful though and through.

Happy Valentine's Day!

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Even though its the silliest "holiday" I just dig Valentines day. It helps that I am deeply love an amazing man and lets face it, everyday may as well be Valentines Day. Bernie makes it so. I never want to let romance die in our lives. It makes things sort of "deep red velvet". Its not difficult to stay passionate....or it shouldn't be. It will not be.

Read up on the history (fable or legend) of ST.
VALENTINE'S DAY

"And don't forget your Mom...." is what this kid in the video game store told my son today. "Mom is always your favorite Valentine, because she feeds you and does your laundry" He went on to say, "I miss living with my Mom, now I have to eat out like..every night, it sucks."

Funny and somewhat not-so-nice
VALENTINE Cards.

well, I am working from home and the email and tools I need to work with are messed up in NYC. Oh well, cant do anything about that.

Its cloudy today. We woke up really late. For some reason, no one heard the alarm ring! Its okay because I was staying home today so no biggie, I just drove the kids to school. I like it better when I wake up on time and have everything in order, though....the morning goes smoother.

Tonight I am going to roast a big chicken and bake pototos along with it...I love the aroma of chicken and baked potatos!

THE_WORST_JOKE_EVER

Today was another good day. My train rides were quick and painless. The weather was nice. Bernie and Genevieve came over for dinner. We had a COOKOUT. yeah...it was fun. Then we went to Target and I spent too much money on stuff. The kids seem really happy lately. I think because I feel very calm and relaxed lately. Even able to help Bernie...to listen to his problems for a change...he is always so attentive to me. Its good to be in a space where I can actually reciprocate. I love him so much.

whenever i'm alone with you
you make me feel like i am home again
whenever i'm alone with you
you make me feel like i am whole again

whenever i'm alone with you
you make me feel like i am young again
whenever i'm alone with you
you make me feel like i am fun again

however far away
i will always love you
however long i stay
i will always love you
whatever words i say
i will always love you
i will always love you

whenever i'm alone with you
you make me feel like i am free again
whenever i'm alone with you
you make me feel like i am clean again

however far away
i will always love you
however long i stay
i will always love you
whatever words i say
i will always love you
i will always love you

Not much to say today. I feel: Mellow. Happy. Relaxed. I need to sleep. I kinda wish I could "go to bed" I've never been much of a sleeper. I tend to not sleep much and then crash. I sort of think of sleeping as a waste of time...but in reality, sleep make your time awake more productive. So, I will try to go to sleep. Usually a good book helps. Hopefully one day I won't have to "go to bed" alone every night. At least I don't sleep on my couch anymore. I used to just always sleep on my couch. I just have no regard for sleeping in a certain room alone. Never got into it. Even as a kid...didn't sleep much. Some days I really want to sleep though. Like, if I havent slept for a few nights in a row. I usually average 4 hours of sleep per night.

To give a love,
you gotta live a love.
To live a love,
you gotta be "part of"
When will I see you again?

~Neil Young

Its a beautiful DAY! finally....nice weather.

umm...I am the luckiest girl in the world!

Interesting article in my email this morning....

The Media Disappeared Howard Dean

by Rick Salutin


Has anybody else noticed the disappearance of Howard Dean from U.S. presidential politics? Maybe someone caught it on a surveillance camera in a mall. The figures who hustled him away were wearing media badges.

Why did they have to get him out of there? Because he was being disruptive. Not wrong exactly, but too loud, spoke out of turn, the sorts of things one doesn't say in mainstream politics. The equivalent of belching or farting in public. The media are the ushers and security guards of politics. They maintain decorum.

For example: Howard Dean said the Bush government "capitalized on domestic fears of terrorism for political gain." Wow. That suggests it manipulated 9/11 for the sake of its own agenda. Millions of Americans may believe this (consider the huge sales of Michael Moore's books) and Bush officials such as Paul Wolfowitz did yearn publicly for "some catastrophic and catalyzing event, like a new Pearl Harbor." But the charge is still taboo in mainstream discourse. It makes almost all that was said and done since 9/11, including po-faced media coverage of the noble ideals behind the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, sleazily suspect.

Mr. Dean said the Bush "tax cuts are designed to destroy . . . our public services through starvation and privatization," making tax cuts sound less like a debatable policy than a devious plot -- which Reaganites have said they were. He noted "a fundamental difference between the defense of our nation and the [Bush] doctrine of pre-emptive war." That goes to the scary heart of U.S. foreign policy. But most U.S. leaders and pundits act as if ordinary people could not understand the distinction. He was similarly blunt on globalization's evil outcomes and the Bush use of "quota" as racist code. He kept moving past the normal rhetoric -- Our leaders are grievously mistaken -- to imply: Our leaders are deliberate liars, betraying the general good for their own aims.

It suggested deep corruption at the heart of mainstream politics. Of course, such criticisms are widespread -- but not among leading candidates for president. They're supposed to sound oppositional, not deranged -- in mainstream terms. They're expected to remain, as it were, in the frame; not leap outside it and spit back in. Normally you don't get to that point with those views. Maybe Mr. Dean stumbled out there by chance, after he became governor, or decided to run for president, without ever intending to jump the frame. Such slip-ups occur -- even when you grew up on Park Avenue and went to Yale. It then becomes the media's task to spot the deviants and escort them to the political margins, where they now belong. This happened to former U.S. Attorney-General Ramsey Clark, when his take on the world got far too loopy for an insider.

How did the media do it? By telling scary stories, mostly about Howard's ugly temper, as decision time drew near. "ALL THE RAGE" read Newsweek's cover. It ran selected quotes from his own website: "Dammit, tell him to get his mouth under control!" etc. Time magazine had "Anger Management 101." The New York Times headlined: "As the Race Turns Hot, What About Dean's Collar?" on "the impression that he is a man with lots of anger, an attribute that repels many voters."

But as anger repels some, it attracts others. It can even be a relief, especially when conflict is being suppressed or denied. So why does it get suddenly invoked as an overriding negative? I mean, why not suddenly focus on George Bush's ease in approving 152 executions in his six years as Texas governor, often with a smirk or a joke? It rings a little of the race in 2000, when Senator John McCain's mental balance became an issue just as it seemed he might beat out then-governor Bush. "Electability" also vaulted suddenly into the coverage in the weeks before Iowa caucused, along with the question: Is Howard Dean "acceptable" to the U.S. mainstream? I do sometimes wish the media elites would allow the masses to define for themselves what they will accept.

Of course the population may decide to go with Howard Dean anyway. The media cannot impose their views; all they can do is try (unconsciously, of course, as Lord Hutton would say). So I'm not claiming a media conspiracy; just that they tend to be well-suited and professionally conditioned to spot incoming threats on the radar and react in a uniform, or copycat way.

The media's renowned critical powers mainly operate on those who violate rules inside the frame, or those like Howard Dean who breach it by saying the unspeakable. As for his famous scream in Iowa, it came long after he had been led out of the building by the media. For my money, he got on a roll, feeling the crowd, and reached his peak phrase ("The White House, in Washington, D.C.") regrettably early, with little to do but finish with a yelp. It could happen to any of us.

Dogs

Hey so this morning, whilst winding my way through Penn Station I came upon a drove of dogs and dozens of dog-owners!
Today is the first day of the www.westminsterkennelclub.org/ WESTMINSTER_DOG_SHOW at Madison Square Garden.

WE LOVE DOGS!

I Miss Fotolog.
Remember when Fotolog was accessible and fun? Like right now I am watching "You've Got Mail" that movie...with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. Like, remember when it was fun and exciting to get email? I write emails to Bernie, but he rarely responds. Something about the written word is special. He's not a writer more of a doer. That's better in reality. Bernie represents REALITY to me. I've been guilty of living a fake-ish life. Always keeping my relationships at arms length. Feeling too busy to let any one inside my world, yet wanting so much to share my life. I want to change my fake-ish behind the screen life.

I've never been close to anyone in my life. I'm happy, and a little afraid sometimes that Bernie has become a big part of my life. Hes really unbeliveably great. But you know what? So am I. I know this. My life is busy and sometimes overwhelming...however, I know I have something special to offer. I just know it. I don't know what, or maybe its something I do that I am unaware of, but its something special I know. And thats that.

I've been feeling unsettled because of work and money and the weather. I'm not going to let that rob me of my me-ness. ummm...I still see the moonlight and gaze upon it with wonderment. I see the cerulean sky and marvel at its neverending blue-ness. Sun and air. Spirituality still strong. I let the past, mine and his...creep into my mind and upset me. How silly! That was then..this is now. Now is wonderful and I am optimistic and excited.

John Perry Barlow has an interesting and valid theory on the failure of Howard Dean's campaign thus far. Read all about it
HERE

I get a lil bit crazy, baby
every time you call my name,
heart beats a lil bit faster faster
you are in my arms again
cant try to fight it
dont even try to hide it
emotions fallin' down like tha rain,
cant find the words to explain it
aint it crazy how i fall
everytime you call my name

I wanna love you and treat you right;
I wanna love you every day and every night:
We'll be together with a roof right over our heads;
We'll share the shelter of my single bed;
We'll share the same room, yeah! - for Jah provide the bread.
Is this love - is this love - is this love -
Is this love that I'm feelin'?
Is this love - is this love - is this love -
Is this love that I'm feelin'?
I wanna know - wanna know - wanna know now!
I got to know - got to know - got to know now!

I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I - I'm willing and able,
So I throw my cards on your table!
I wanna love you - I wanna love and treat - love and treat you right;
I wanna love you every day and every night:
We'll be together, yeah! - with a roof right over our heads;
We'll share the shelter, yeah, oh now! - of my single bed;
We'll share the same room, yeah! - for Jah provide the bread.

Stealing childhood.
Remember when children could walk around and talk to strangers?
maybe we never could. maybe this has gone on all along, perverse strangers
abducting, abusing and killing children...we never knew because it wasn't reported via the media.
or maybe
MEDIA is exposing the potentially perverse with ideas.

I just saw a program on the TODAY show...how easy it is to lure children away. Because they are innocent and want to help. I don't know what is worse, showing the evil ones how to do it or trying to ruin innocents by making us totally paranoid.

My heart goes out to the families of all children who have been murdered or tortured at the hands of the insane.

I feel like I could run away
Looking at a darker day
Oh I'm pulling the shades away from my eyes
It's true my moody manners come and go
And it's better that you never know

Some things are better left unsaid
Some strings are better left undone
Some hearts are better left unbroken
Some lives are better left untouched
Some lies are better off believed
Some words are better left unspoken

My ideas seem to frighten you
Are you really that afraid to move
Oh I guess that it's your right to reason
I'm still dealing with a force that's so strong

Your love is better than ice cream
better than anything else that I've tried
and your love is better than ice cream
everyone here knows how to fight
and it's a long way down
it's a long way down
it's a long way down to the place
where we started from
Your love is better than chocolate
better than anything else that I've tried
oh love is better than chocolate
everyone here knows how to cry
it's a long way down
it's a long way down
it's a long way down to the place
where we started from...

Listen to the latest from NPR on Dean 2004

Meetups

V.D.
Well, St. Valentine's Day is upon us. The most hated of all Hallmark holidays....hehe. Well, I love it. I think celebrating love is a good thing any day of the month. I even love all the excuses people give for attempting to thwart its onslot. I say, whats the big deal? So, once a year you send your sweetie some flowers...if you're not prone to doing so any other time of the year, here is the perfect opportunity. All girls love flowers...I dont care what they say. Just like candy...I've yet to meet a woman who doesnt appreciate a good piece of chocolate. Diamonds, ARE a girls best friend...so get over it. The worst guy is the guy who can't wrap his mind around the diamond concept.

So, I will get lots of heat for these "bourgeoise" opinions. Considering that I despise most commercially ruined holidays...ie: Christmas and Easter...but for some reason, the whackiness of boxer shorts with big hearts on them cheers me.

I've worked in many offices. Its fun to watch the "Tournement of Roses" on Valentines Day. Its like, if your husband or boyfriend neglects to send you flowers on Feb 14, your day is ruined. Well, not really....I mean, I have had lots of lonely VDs..what I am saying is it is always fun to watch a woman presented with Roses.

There is just something fun for everyone on Valentines Day...!

Gumbyware is my favorite low-tech site! I don't know who they are but they sure do have a great sense of humor. Thanks for making me smile.

Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
The wisdom to know the difference.

These words never meant so much as they do now. Im driving myself crazy over things I CAN change...and will change but have to change gradually, and methodically. Do the next right thing. Don't overreact. Remain calm. I've driven myself into a FRENZY and now I am paying a physical fine...the hives could be stress related. I gotta calm down. deep breath. regroup. all is well...just go with the flow.

I was really upset about my job. About the way things are going. My manager promising pie in the sky and delivering a smashed yankee doodle. Oh well, so I thought it would be different? Being always hopeful, I thought so.

Gotta move on. Get over it.

But you know...part of the problem is being able to process things out. They have to be properly addressed or they dont resolve. Like...jumping from one thing to another...I cannot do this. Like any grief, it must be properly dealt with. I dont have tons of patience. MY BAD. It really difficult for me, when I feel passionately about something to just sit and wait.
Good things come to those who wait they say. Okay...one foot in front of the other. So I cant fix everything RIGHT NOW but I can do what I can do today to get there.
Exhale.

Skin-crawling-hair-raising adventures

Ive been off the beam. Really off. I havent able to write or think of anything other than getting out of NYC. I can't stand it anymore..being away from home, not being able to do anything except work... Somedays, I can't stand another minute.

Tonight, the RAIN and WIND. Everything was soaked, my shoes, my socks, my wool coat, my purse, my hair. I broke out in a MAJOR case of HIVES. My skin is attacking me. My neck and back and face and stomach and legs are full of large oozing welts. I itch everywhere and it HURTS...Stings. I sat paralyzed on the train, freezing wet and itching.

Nope, doesnt get any better than this. NO...wait...traffic for an hour after getting off the train. My windshield wipers are not working properly....can't see. Sludge. I am exhausted. I hate this. I need, I need...

Well, now I am covered in benadryl trying to figure out what the heck I am allergic to. Help. I wish bernie was here.

SUBJECT TO DEBATE by Katha Pollitt
Judy, Judy, Judy

I used to think we should get rid of First Ladies. Plenty of countries manage without a national wife: Cherie Blair aside (and how long would Britain's answer to Hillary have lasted over here?), can you name the spouse of the man who leads France, Germany, China, Canada or Russia? And no, "Mrs. Putin" doesn't count as a correct answer. Is Lula married? What about Ariel Sharon? Is there a Mrs. General Musharraf ready with a nice cup of tea when her man comes home after walking the nuclear weapons? Do you care? The ongoing public inquest into Dr. Judith Steinberg makes me see, however, that we need First Ladies: Without them, American women might actually believe that they are liberated, that modern marriage is an equal partnership, that the work they are trained for and paid to do is important whether or not they are married, and that it is socially acceptable for adult women in the year 2004 to possess distinct personalities--even quirks! Without First Ladies, a woman might imagine that whether she keeps or changes her name is a private, personal choice, the way the young post-post-feminists always insist it is when they write those annoying articles explaining why they are now calling themselves Mrs. My Husband.

The attack on Dr. Judy began on the front page of the New York Times (you know, the ultraliberal paper) with a January 13 feature by Jodi Wilgoren, full of catty remarks about her "sensible slipper flats and no makeup or earrings" and fatuous observations from such academic eminences as Myra Gutin, "who has taught a course on first ladies at Rider University in New Jersey for 20 years." It seems that Dr. Steinberg "fits nowhere" in Professor Gutin's categorizations. Given that she counts Pat Nixon as an "emerging spokeswoman," maybe that's not such a bad thing. "The doctors Dean seem to be in need of some tips on togetherness and building a healthy political marriage," opined Maureen Dowd, a single woman who, even if she weds tomorrow, will be in a nursing home by the time she's been married for twenty-three years like the Deans. Tina Brown, another goddess of the hearth, compared Dr. Judy to mad Mrs. Rochester in Jane Eyre. On ABC News's Primetime, Diane Sawyer put both Deans on the grill, with, according to Alexander Stille, who counted for the LA Times, ninety negative questions out of a total of ninety-six. Blinking and nodding like a kindly nurse coaxing a lunatic off a window ledge, Sawyer acted as if she wanted to understand Dr. Judy's bizarre behavior: She keeps her maiden name professionally (just like, um, Diane Sawyer, a k a Mrs. Mike Nichols); she doesn't follow the day-to-day of politics (like, what, 90 percent of Americans?); she enjoyed getting a rhododendron from Howard for her birthday. Throughout this sexist inquisition, Dr. Steinberg remained as gentle as a fawn, polite and unassuming--herself. "I'm not a very 'thing' person," she said when Sawyer pressed too close on that all-important rhododendron. She allowed as how she was not too interested in clothes--whereupon Sawyer cut to a photo of Laura Bush, smiling placidly in a red ball gown.

I don't think Dr. Judy is weird at all. She's leading a normal, modern, middle-class-professional life. She has been married forever. She has two children. She likes camping and bike riding and picnics. She volunteers. She has work she loves, as a community physician--not, you'll note, as a cold-hearted status-obsessed selfish careerist user, as professional women are always accused of being. (Let's also note that she is not someone who was ever, even once, during her husband's twelve-year stint as governor of Vermont, accused of using her marriage to advance a friend or enrich herself or obtain special perks and privileges.) And here's another secret: Not too many women in long marriages want to spend their lives gazing rapturously at their husband for the benefit of the camera every time he opens his mouth. Vermonters liked Judy Dean--they had no problem with her low-key, independent style. But, then, if you listen to the press, you know Vermonters--they're weird, too.

I have no idea why Judith Steinberg hasn't slogged through the snow for her husband. Maybe she's nervous in public. Maybe she's busy. ("It's not something I can say, 'Oh, you take over for a month,'" she explained to Diane Sawyer. Imagine that, Tina, Diane, Maureen--a job where if you don't show up, it matters!) Maybe, like lots of Democrats, she's waiting to see if the Dean campaign has legs. It's possible she and her husband didn't understand they had left the real world for Mediaville, where it's always 1955, and thought it was no big deal if she kept working in Shelburne instead of being marched around Iowa in a power suit with a big bottle of Valium in her purse. Here's something I do know, though: Every day, this woman, about whom nobody who knows her has a mean word to say, gets up and does one of the most valuable things a human being can do on this earth: She takes care of sick people. Ordinary local people, not media princesses and princes. Is that the problem? If Judy Steinberg were a cosmetic surgeon or a diet doctor or held Botox parties after office hours, if her patients were famous, or the friends of the famous, if she could dish on the phone about Arnold Schwarzenegger and Martha Stewart, would the media cat pack think Judy Steinberg was cool?

Granted, rightly or wrongly, the media are going to take a look at the wives of the candidates, so you can argue that the Deans should have been prepared, especially given the media's dislike of Howard. This, after all, is the same media that managed to make a major scandal out of the Scream, a moment of campaign exuberance of zero importance (especially when compared with--for example!--Bush's inability to speak two consecutive unscripted sentences that are not gibberish, his refusal to read newspapers and the fact that much of the world thinks he's a dangerous moron). But actually, it's only when a wife has her own identity that her choices are scrutinized. If Dr. Judith Steinberg was simply Judy Dean, if she spent her life doing nothing so important it couldn't be dropped to follow her husband as he followed his star, no one would question her priorities. No one thought less of Barbara Bush because she dropped out of college to get married, like those Wellesley girls in Mona Lisa Smile. No one reprimands Laura Bush for abandoning her career as a librarian and spending her life as her husband's den mother. No one asks Hadassah Lieberman or Elizabeth Edwards or Gertie Clark how come they have so much free time on their hands that they can saddle up with their husbands' campaign for months, or why, if they care so much about politics, they aren't running for office themselves.

Don't you wish, just once, the questioners and pontificators would turn it around? After all, if a woman were running for President, would they expect her doctor husband to abandon his ailing patients and his high-school-age son to soften her image? Au contraire, they would regard such a man as a pussy-whipped wimp, a loser, very possibly even...weird. When Bob Dole said he'd give money to John McCain, his wife Elizabeth's rival in her brief presidential campaign in 2000, nobody called him a self-centered, disengaged, mean husband, or made much of the fact that his wife had knocked herself out for him when he ran in 1996.

What if the media tried on for size the notion that having an independent wife says something good about a candidate? For example, maybe, if his wife is not at his beck and call, he won't assume the sun rises because he wants to get up; maybe, if his wife has her own goals in life, her own path to tread, he won't think women were put on earth to further his ambitions; maybe, if he and his wife are true partners--which is not the same as her pouring herself into his career and his being genuinely grateful, the best-case scenario of the traditional political marriage--he may even see women as equals. Why isn't it the candidates who use their wives to further their careers with plastic smiles and cheery waves who have to squirm on Primetime?

Dean's poor showing in Iowa and second-place finish in New Hampshire suggest that media mud sticks. In a race with many candidates, in which the top contenders each have their pluses and minuses but are also rather close to one another politically, perception matters. Dean too "angry"? Something off about the marriage? Mrs. Dean a fruitcake? Oh, you heard that too? A lot of Democratic primary voters are looking not for the candidate they themselves like best but for the one with the best shot at beating Bush. If a candidate starts looking wounded, however unfair the attack, forget him--on to the next. The process feels a bit like rifling through the sale racks at Bloomingdale's when you have to find a fancy dress for a party given by strangers--no, no, maybe, hmmm, oh all right--but who knows, maybe out of all this second-guessing the strongest candidate, with the broadest appeal and the best organization, will ultimately emerge.

Right now, John Kerry may look like that man. But consider this: Before Dr. Judy, it was Teresa Heinz Kerry in the headlights of the New York Times front page. She was, John Tierney suggested, too opinionated, not fixated enough on her husband, unable to connect with the voters, off in her own world. You know, weird. There was that pesky name problem, too: Teresa Heinz? Teresa Kerry? Such a puzzle.

The secret society that ties Bush and Kerry
(Filed: 01/02/2004)

Revelations that leading candidates for the US presidency were "Skull and Bones" members have provoked claims of elitism. Charles Laurence reports from New York

The "tomb" stands dark and hulking at the heart of the Yale University campus, almost windowless, and shuttered and padlocked in the thick snow of winter storms.
Yale's candidates for the White House pictured in their student days and the 'Skull and Bones' mascot

Built to mimic a Greco-Egyptian temple, it is the headquarters of the Order of the Skull and Bones, America's most elite and elusive secret society - and it has become the unlikely focus of this year's presidential election. It turns out that four leading contestants for the White House in November's election were 1960s undergraduates at Yale: President Bush and Democratic rivals Governor Howard Dean, Sen John Kerry and Sen Joseph Lieberman.

What is more, two are "Bonesmen". Both Sen Kerry, now the Democrat front runner, and President Bush belong to the 172-year-old society, which aims to get its members into positions of power. This presidential election seems destined to become the first in history to pit one Skull and Bones member against another.

The phenomenon of the "Yalies", as Yale alumni are known, has provoked an intense debate over apparent elitism among Americans amazed that - in a democracy of almost 300 million people - the battle for power should be waged among candidates drawn from the 4,000 who graduated from Yale in four different years of the 1960s.

"To today's Yale undergraduates it seems quite extraordinary," said Jacob Leibenluft, a student and a reporter on the Yale Daily News, the campus newspaper. "For some it's a source of pride, to others it's a source of shame."

In fact Yale, with annual tuition fees of $28,400 (£16,000), has long sent graduates to the top of all professions from the campus in New Haven, Connecticut, where it was founded in 1731.

The Skull and Bones is the most exclusive organisation on campus. Members have ranged from President William Taft to Henry Luce, the founder of the Time-Life magazine empire, and from Averill Harriman, the businessman and diplomat, to the first President George Bush.

Alexandra Robbins, a Yale graduate and author of a book on the Skull and Bones, Secrets of the Tomb, said: "It is staggering that so many of the candidates are from Yale, and even more so that we are looking at a presidential face-off between two members of the Skull and Bones. It is a tiny club with only 800 living members and 15 new members a year.

"But there has always been a sentiment at Yale to push students into public service, an ethos of the elite making their way through the corridors of power - and the sole purpose of the Bones is power."

The four candidates' time at Yale spans the period from 1960, when Sen Lieberman began his studies, through Sen Kerry's arrival in 1962 and Mr Bush's two years later, to 1971, when Mr Dean graduated - a period that swung through the bright hopes of the Kennedy presidency to tumult and bitterness over Vietnam.

Mr Lieberman and Mr Kerry served on the same committee to oppose resistance to the Vietnam war draft, but otherwise the four appear not to have known each other at the time. They all studied history and political science, however, and had some of the same professors and academic mentors.

Robert Dahl, the then head of the political science department, said: "Many of us had the sense we were preparing future leaders, but I don't think any of us had any idea we were teaching so many presidential candidates."

While at Yale all four showed hints of the varying character traits that would eventually propel them, on different paths, towards the top of American politics.

Mr Lieberman, the grandson of immigrants, arrived from a state school, probably a beneficiary of an unofficial 10 per cent quota of places for Jews that Yale then operated. Politically ambitious, he chaired the Yale Daily News, the most sought-after student position on campus.

Sen Kerry is remembered as "running for president since freshman year". One of his contemporaries said: "He was obsessed by politics to the exclusion of all else. At that age, it's a bit creepy." He dated Janet Auchincloss, the half-sister of Jackie Kennedy, the First Lady, won the presidency of the Yale Political Union, and was initiated into the Skull and Bones before joining the United States Navy for service in Vietnam.

In laid-back contrast, Mr Bush achieved only a "C" grade academically and took little interest in politics. He joined a "sports jock" fraternity and followed his father into the Skull and Bones.

By the time Mr Dean arrived in 1967, Yale was admitting women and setting more store by applicants' academic merit than their social background. The future Vermont governor showed a disdain for Yale politics and resigned from a fraternity order in a dispute over a coffee bar.

Whether the four men's Yale backgrounds is a plus with voters is uncertain. Mr Dean seems embarrassed, once saying he studied "in New Haven, Connecticut" to avoid mentioning Yale by name. Mr Bush makes light of his student years, apparently revelling in his reputation for socialising, not studying.

The Skull and Bones connection is more troublesome. Mr Kerry laughed nervously when questioned about his and Mr Bush's membership on television. "You both were members of the Skull and Bones; what does that tell us?" he was asked. "Yup. Not much," he replied.

Not surprisingly, the club's rituals fascinate many Americans. Robbins's book describes a social club with arcane rules, a hoard of relics ranging from Hitler's silver collection to the skull of the Indian chief Geronimo - plus a resident prostitute.

She says initiation rites include a mud-wrestling bout, receiving a beating and the recitation by a new member of his sexual history - delivered while he lies naked in a coffin. Elevation of a Bonesman creates opportunities for his fellows, and Robbins says that President Bush has appointed 10 members to his administration, including the head of the Securities and Exchange Commission.

She recently surveyed 100 of the estimated 800 living Bonesmen on their preferred election winner - Sen Kerry or President Bush. Perhaps not surprisingly, given that both are pledged to advance the interests of fellow Bonesmen, "They answered that they didn't care. Whichever way it went, it was a win-win for them."

White House 'Bonesman' leads nation into the dark
By Alexandra Robbins

"My senior year (at Yale University) I joined Skull and Bones, a secret society," President Bush wrote in his autobiography, "so secret, I can't say anything more."

He doesn't have to. He's practically turning the government into a secret society - an old-boy, throwback establishment that even holds its secret spy-court proceedings in an elaborately locked, windowless room that sounds similar to the Bones' elaborately locked, practically windowless "tomb," or campus clubhouse.

Bush, a loyal and particularly active member of Skull and Bones, a mysterious, historically misogynist Yale-based secret society, seems to have done almost all he can to promote a level of secrecy in government not seen since the Nixon administration:

* Last month, Bush-appointed Assistant Attorney General Robert McCallum, a member of Bush's 1968 Skull and Bones class, filed pleadings in U.S. District Court seeking to extend executive privilege to any government official in pardon cases; the move makes information on presidential pardons more secret than it has ever been.
* After 9/11, without initially telling Congress, Bush assembled a shadow government assigned to secret bunkers somewhere on the East Coast. He also tried to cut off some members of Congress from classified information about the anti-terrorist campaign.
* The USA Patriot Act Bush eagerly signed lets the FBI - with permission from a secret Washington "spy court" - view some customer records; store owners cannot reveal the review
* In October 2001, Attorney General John Ashcroft released a memo encouraging federal agencies to withhold as much information as possible from the public.
* A month later, just before documents from the Reagan-Bush administration were to be released, Bush signed an executive order severely hindering public access to former presidents' records.
* Bush also signed legislation that jails or fines journalists who publish sensitive leaks, essentially reviving the Official Secrecy Act that President Clinton vetoed.

Bush has a "fetish for secrecy," Vanderbilt University professor emeritus Hugh Davis Graham, now deceased, told the National Journal earlier this year.

Granted, pressing issues of national security merit a level of secrecy. But security and secrecy are not always necessary companions, and some of these examples suggest secrecy for secrecy's sake, such as the pardons and the Reagan documents. Also, a government that operates in secret prevents its constituents from holding it accountable and so may be more prone to arbitrariness and ill-considered conduct. This administration may even be doing itself a disservice with its excess secrecy, which can cause people to conjure up much more malicious and elitist scenarios than may actually exist.

That is what has happened with Skull and Bones, which operates a powerful alumni network but, despite the lore, does not run a secret world government, collaborate with Nazis or require initiates to lie naked in a coffin.

Bonesmen have long helped Bush; he received a fair chunk of his early business financing from them and turned to them for help when he needed a job, investors and campaign assistance. Even his baseball-team purchase involved at least one Bonesman. As president, Bush has appointed fellow Bonesmen to high-level positions, such as Edward McNally, the general counsel of the Office on Homeland Security and senior associate counsel on national security. Yet, although one of his first social gatherings at the White House was a Skull and Bones reunion, Bush feigned ignorance when asked recently about Bones: "The thing is so secret that I'm not even sure it still exists," he replied.

Is it a coincidence that the federal government suddenly prioritizes secrecy when a Skull and Bones president is in power? Maybe. But there's no question that the Bush administration increasingly resembles the Bones' dark, locked tomb.

Alexandra Robbins is the author of Secrets of the Tomb: Skull and Bones, the Ivy League, and the Hidden Paths of Power.

From the NYT ---
Where's the Apology?
By PAUL KRUGMAN

Published: January 30, 2004

Columnist Page: Paul Krugman

E-mail: krugman@nytimes.com


George Bush promised to bring honor and integrity back to the White House. Instead, he got rid of accountability.

Surely even supporters of the Iraq war must be dismayed by the administration's reaction to David Kay's recent statements. Iraq, he now admits, didn't have W.M.D., or even active programs to produce such weapons. Those much-ridiculed U.N. inspectors were right. (But Hans Blix appears to have gone down the memory hole. On Tuesday Mr. Bush declared that the war was justified — under U.N. Resolution 1441, no less — because Saddam "did not let us in.")

So where are the apologies? Where are the resignations? Where is the investigation of this intelligence debacle? All we have is bluster from Dick Cheney, evasive W.M.D.-related-program-activity language from Mr. Bush — and a determined effort to prevent an independent inquiry.

True, Mr. Kay still claims that this was a pure intelligence failure. I don't buy it: the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace has issued a damning report on how the threat from Iraq was hyped, and former officials warned of politicized intelligence during the war buildup. (Yes, the Hutton report gave Tony Blair a clean bill of health, but many people — including a majority of the British public, according to polls — regard that report as a whitewash.)

In any case, the point is that a grave mistake was made, and America's credibility has been badly damaged — and nobody is being held accountable. But that's standard operating procedure. As far as I can tell, nobody in the Bush administration has ever paid a price for being wrong. Instead, people are severely punished for telling inconvenient truths. And administration officials have consistently sought to freeze out, undermine or intimidate anyone who might try to check up on their performance.

Let's look at three examples. First is the Valerie Plame affair. When someone in the administration revealed that Ms. Plame was an undercover C.I.A. operative, one probable purpose was to intimidate intelligence professionals. And whatever becomes of the Justice Department investigation, the White House has been notably uninterested in finding the culprit. ("We have let the earthmovers roll in over this one," a senior White House official told The Financial Times.)

Then there's the stonewalling about 9/11. First the administration tried, in defiance of all historical precedents, to prevent any independent inquiry. Then it tried to appoint Henry Kissinger, of all people, to head the investigative panel. Then it obstructed the commission, denying it access to crucial documents and testimony. Now, thanks to all the delays and impediments, the panel's head says it can't deliver its report by the original May 11 deadline — and the administration is trying to prevent a time extension.

Finally, an important story that has largely evaded public attention: the effort to prevent oversight of Iraq spending. Government agencies normally have independent, strictly nonpartisan inspectors general, with broad powers to investigate questionable spending. But the new inspector general's office in Iraq operates under unique rules that greatly limit both its powers and its independence.

And the independence of the Pentagon's own inspector general's office is also in question. Last September, in a move that should have caused shock waves, the administration appointed L. Jean Lewis as the office's chief of staff. Ms. Lewis played a central role in the Whitewater witch hunt (seven years, $70 million, no evidence of Clinton wrongdoing); nobody could call her nonpartisan. So when Mr. Bush's defenders demand hard proof of profiteering in Iraq — as opposed to extensive circumstantial evidence — bear in mind that the administration has systematically undermined the power and independence of institutions that might have provided that proof.

And there are many more examples. These people politicize everything, from military planning to scientific assessments. If you're with them, you pay no penalty for being wrong. If you don't tell them what they want to hear, you're an enemy, and being right is no excuse.

Still, the big story isn't about Mr. Bush; it's about what's happening to America. Other presidents would have liked to bully the C.I.A., stonewall investigations and give huge contracts to their friends without oversight. They knew, however, that they couldn't. What has gone wrong with our country that allows this president to get away with such things?

Sirens ring, the shots ring out
A stranger cries, screams out loud
I had my world strapped against my back
I held my hands, never knew how to act

The same black line that was drawn on you
Was drawn on me
And now it's drawn me in
6th Avenue heartache

Below me was a homeless man
I'm singin' songs I knew complete
On the steps alone, his guitar in hand
It's fifty years, stood where he stands

Now walkin' home on those streets
The river winds move my feet
Subway steam, like silhouettes in dreams
They stood by me, just like moonbeams

Look out the window, down upon that street
And gone like a midnight was that man
But I see his six strings laid against that wall
And all his things, they all look so small
I got my fingers crossed on a shooting star
Just like me - just moved on

Wallflowers~